==> Sara. Perth. Soon to be Uni student, sworn rival: birds
==> I strongly recommend just clicking the Archive button down there, that's the fastest way you'll figure out who I am.
==> Homestuck, Anime (Attack on Titan is a big one), Fire Emblem, etc etc
I've just recently moved to Western Australia. If you are at all interested check out my #aussie adventures tag!
3DS Friend code: 2938-6698-9874
Dream Address: 4500-2184-5181
==> Have fun.
I have thoughts, but my overarching thought is that the completion of the first paragraph is too soon to ask for crit/start revisions. Get at least a chapter down (preferably a whole story draft if you can) and then begin the rewriting process by asking for critique.
I have thoughts. Avoid starting a story with a “this is why im special”. The Im-not-pretty-Im-just-unique-looking is alright (albeit a tad cliche) if its subtle but this is too in your face. Show them being insecure about it, wearing hats and glasses and their classmates still whispering or laughing. And maybe don’t spell out that they’re a poor orphan? I generally wouldn’t let my characters say “Im a rich foster kid”, I would make them act like a rich foster kid. Slow down a bit. This sounds more like a summary than an opening paragraph.
when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires